Five Reasons We’ll Watch Audrina’s Blank Stare On VH1

After six seasons of watching Audrina Patridge play a lead character who was more like a background character on The Hills, nobody was more surprised than us to hear that the master of the blank stare had scored her own program. And this Sunday marks the day we’ve all felt so indifferent about since its announcement late last year.
Audrina — which focuses on Patridge’s life as a model, family member and pseudo-celebrity — premieres at 9 p.m. Sunday on VH1. While we haven’t been salivating for it or anything, we did come up with five reasons to give it a chance… unless you’re like Audrina with Justin Bobby. Then you might give it four or five or 15 chances.
What’s old is new again.
We’re convinced the world embraced Jersey Shore with such enthusiasm because they had grown bored of The Hills and its richy-rich cast that spent more time twirling its hair extensions and making black, streaky mascara tears than doing anything outlandish enough to warrant a water cooler discussion. But one year and countless audible belches and farts later, we could use a break from the orange skin, exposed coocas, fist pumps and one night stands. In other words, I’ve never seen Audrina put her bare ass in a fridge before.
VH1 is conducting this train.
Let’s be honest: With the exception of Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club and MTV’s Jersey Shore, VH1 is the station that brings us the trashiest reality shows on TV. It is responsible for gems like Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, Basketball Wives, You’re Cut Off, Celebrity Rehab — need I go on? Based on VH1′s track record alone, Audrina is worth a shot.
Family feuds.
Sure, Audrina provides the “star power” for this show (read: she’s hot), but every Hills fan knows this bland bombshell couldn’t carry a reality series on her own. Thank God for dysfunctional families! Her mother, Lynn, is no stranger to drunken public tirades (or sober ones, based on trailer footage). Throw in three heavily-tatted siblings — all with seemingly more tangible personalities than their celebrity sis — and a relationship in despair and you’ve got the potential for a dramalicious date each Sunday night. After all, this whole model-balances-job-and-family reality concept worked out preeeeeetty well for boring ol’ Kim Kardashian. Oh, and speaking of Kimmie…
Audrina’s mom promises to upstage reality TV’s first family.
Seeing as the Kardashians have, like, five million offshoots of their original reality show, we’re skeptical that the Patridge clan can give them a run for their money. Still, Lynn told In Touch, “I’ve watched the Kardashians and I can tell you our family will blow theirs away. I don’t mean that as an insult, but what you see is what you get with us. We’re 100 percent real.” Real a-holes, we’re hoping!
If nothing else, it will boost your ego.
Don’t go looking to feel better about your looks, because Audrina’s a beauty and has a rockin’ body. But if you need some reassurance about your conversation skills, or even your own family, this could be your one-stop shop for optimism. And if not… well, Celebrity Apprentice is excellent this season and it airs at the same time.

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